Home Business News Comedian sparks ‘panic’ in Downing Street after spoof Sue Gray report mistaken for the real thing

Comedian sparks ‘panic’ in Downing Street after spoof Sue Gray report mistaken for the real thing

by LLB political Reporter
28th Jan 22 11:26 am

Panic was sparked in government on Thursday after comedian Joe Lycett posted a spoof Sue Gray report into the Downing Street parties on Twitter.

Lycett shared a message from a person who claims to work for the government which read, “I work in Parliament for the Conservatives and I think u need to know.

“Your tweet this morning was read as an actual serious leak from Sue Gray’s report.

“U had MP staff literally running around panicking from what it said.

“Panic dialling MPs like we need to discuss this right now

“I can’t believe she used the phrase ‘down it street’”

They added: “Absolutely legendary work well done”

Joe captioned the tweet: “This is an actual series of messages I have received from someone who works for a cabinet minister. Source is verified”

The initial tweet read, “BREAKING: Leaked Sue Gray report reveals shocking abuse of the rules. Hard to see how the PM can cling on after this.”

On a Cabinet Office letterhead he then posted, “A summary of my main findings.

“A culture of Covid 19 regulation rule breaking at Number 10 Downing Street.

“Games were played which were known as ‘Slow Dance’ and ‘Pass the A******’

“A number of WhatsApp groups were established to organise gatherings, which titles included ‘Definitely A Meeting’ and ‘Down It Street’

The fake report continued: “At one party [blank] a senior minister insisted all cabinet ministers get onto a table and perform Pure & Simple by Hear’Say.

“Before one of the gatherings [blank] who worked closely with the PM insisted everyone be tested and was subsequently referred to as ‘Twateral Flow’ by advisors.”

It continued, “A video of the PM’s wife at one party confirms her attendance to which she is heard saying, ‘it could be as few as four and as many as sixty kids’.

“One advisor insisted this report makes clear ‘it is categorically not a breach of the rules to be part of a human centipede if said centipede was formed prior to lockdown’.”

“Please forward any queries to my email [email protected]

The Metropolitan Police has asked the Cabinet Office for “minimal reference to made” in the Sue Gray report to “avoid any prejudice to our investigation.”

The Prime Minister’s future hangs in the balance over the report which could potentially trigger a vote of no confidence in Parliament which could end his leadership.

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