Anyone who has dealt with grief can tell you that it doesn’t wait around for the perfect moment. When you lose someone you love, grief can (and does) well up at almost any time without notice. And if you’re in the middle of running a business or building your career, it can feel impossible to continue moving forward.
At the same time, work can offer something valuable that you might be missing as you deal with the grief of your loss: structure. It can give your days shape and purpose when everything else feels uncertain. It’s all about how you balance things.
1. Start with realistic expectations
You need to come to terms with the fact that you won’t immediately perform at your peak. Grief affects your memory, concentration, and emotional regulation. Tasks that used to feel simple may take a lot longer now. For example, you might reread the same email multiple times. Or maybe you struggle to find words during meetings. This is a natural response to emotional trauma.
Instead of expecting your usual output, set a temporary “minimum effective standard.” Focus on completing essential responsibilities first. Identify the one or two priorities each day that truly matter. Then let the smaller tasks wait if they can.
2. Communicate more than you normally would
When you’re grieving, your instinct might be to withdraw. You may feel like explaining yourself takes too much energy, or you may worry about appearing unprofessional. But clear communication during this season is one of the most protective things you can do for your career.
You don’t need to share intimate details about your loss. What helps is giving people some context so they know how to operate. A simple statement like, “I’m navigating a personal loss right now, so I may need a little flexibility while I adjust,” goes a long way. It helps people know how to interact with you and not jump to conclusions.
If you manage a team, proactive communication becomes even more important. You might tell them that you’re committed to staying engaged but may delegate more than usual for a short period. Setting expectations like this reduces confusion and prevents small delays from turning into bigger frustrations.
The alternative – saying nothing – can create unnecessary challenges for everyone involved. If your responsiveness slows or your demeanour shifts, co-workers may fill in the gaps with assumptions. (And that’s not what you want.) Clear, measured communication is the objective.
3. Create emotional boundaries at work
Grief doesn’t care what you’re doing – it can pop up out of nowhere. It might be during a presentation or when you’re picking up the phone to speak with a high-profile client.
The best thing you can do is have a simple plan for those moments. That might mean stepping outside for five minutes to breathe or closing your office door and regaining composure. Make sure you’re giving yourself permission to set boundaries. If you don’t, you’ll end up burning out.
4. Manage focus in small blocks
One of the most effective ways to avoid feeling overwhelmed by the work at hand is by doing it in small, defined blocks of time. Set a timer for 20 to 30 minutes and give one task your full attention. When the timer ends, take a short reset break to stand up, step outside, get water, or simply close your eyes for a moment.
Short work intervals reduce the mental pressure of feeling like you have to get through this entire day. You’re only committing to the next half hour. That feels manageable, even when your energy is low.
It also helps to simplify what “focus” means right now. You may not have the capacity for deep strategic thinking or creative breakthroughs, which is okay. Use your strongest windows of energy for higher-level tasks, and reserve lower-energy periods for administrative work.
Keep your daily task list intentionally shorter than normal. Three meaningful priorities are often more realistic than ten scattered ones. When you complete a block, acknowledge it and let that fuel momentum for the next block.
Over time, as your emotional bandwidth slowly expands, you can lengthen your focus intervals. But in the early stages of grief, smaller blocks allow you to stay engaged without overwhelming yourself.
5. Cultivate a meaningful work environment
Grief often feels less chaotic when you have physical reminders around you. This is one of the reasons that meaningful keepsakes work so well for people experiencing grief. They can provide a feeling of nearness and comfort.
Susan Fraser, founder of In the Light Urns, explains it this way, “There’s something reassuring and comforting about having a personalized urn of your loved one there with you. It’s a nod to how special they were to you as a person, as well as the fact that life is short and you should learn to enjoy every moment as one that’s filled with great opportunity.”
Whether it’s a small keepsake on your desk, a piece of jewelry, or a framed picture, having something physical nearby can make the loss feel less isolating. It’s basically a tangible reminder that grief and productivity can coexist.
Let grief fuel your growth
It’s important to remember that there will be hard days. There will also be moments where you surprise yourself with how strong and capable you are. It’s possible for both of these realities to be true at the same time. The key is to let your grief fuel you, rather than holding you back.
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