Decline and fall: the wretched degeneration of the Quality Street tin

Honey I shrunk the tin, but charged the same and made a tidy profit

The world is not in a very happy place at the end of 2015. It’s been a gruelling year. If ever there was a Christmas when it was time to spend quality time with your family and friends and remind yourself what you value in life, it is this one.

But the social degenerates in charge of Nestle’s chocolate division are actively making Christmas slightly less merry every year.

Take a look at this pertinent tweet from radio presenter Daniel Fox this morning:

The grim, distressing and crippling reality of #Christmas in 2015. pic.twitter.com/KGFlvoXWqx

— Daniel Fox (@danielfoxfm) December 16, 2015

Quantity vs Quality Streets

We live in an age of confectionary shrinkage. This year, the £5 tin contains a piddling 756g of chocolate.

This is down from 780g last year, which was a fall from 820g in 2013.

And it gets worse. In 2011 the £5 tin contained a kilo of chocolate. And before that it weighed 1.3kg.

Yes, market forces, yes, inflation, yes cost of production – there are various factors at play. But if these are shaving Nestle’s profit margins unsustainably, then maybe they should put the price up slightly, rather than trying to trick consumers. Do they think people don’t notice?

A quick search on Ebay reveals vintage Quality Street tins stretching back into the previous decades that go all the way up to 3kg in size.

This dog named Toby had to go to the vet after eating an entire 3kg tin of Quality Streets in the early 2000s. He was fine. What a legend.

Quality Street Dog

Quality Street eating dog Toby and his owner Katie Jones, in 2004

Metal tin no more

To add insult to injury, this year, Nestle has even abandoned the luxury and wonder of sturdy metal, and had the effrontery to replace it with flimsy and inferior plastic.

Throughout history, metal Quality Street tins have been hoarded by grandmothers, to be saved and eventually used to house glorious Victoria sponge cakes.

No longer. No one’s going to use a crappy plastic tub for a lovingly created confection. It would devalue it.