Pig what? Lib who? Jez we how? Does it really Blatter?
It’s the end of the year. Which humans came out on top? And who is languishing at the bottom of the pile after 2015 had its wicked way with them?
We take look back at the soaring highs, and the grovelling lows of the past year.
The Conservative Party
The lads with the blue ties have had a strong 2015. After surprising themselves, and indeed, the pollsters, by winning a majority at the general election, they pretty much waved goodbye to the competition in 2015, leaving the massacred Lib Dems, and frazzled Labour Party to eat their dust.
Derided as a joke candidate and branded “unelectable”, Islington North MP Jeremy Corbyn, left commentators stunned, and the parliamentary Labour Party aghast, as he hijacked his party’s leadership election, won unprecedented levels of support, and stormed past his running mates to win the Labour leadership election with 60% of the vote. His first test came at the Oldham byelection. Commentators widely expected Labour to flop. They won, but how long can Corbyn cling on?
2016 is the year of the battle for London, and while Zac Goldsmith’s bid for City Hall on behalf of the Tories was never in doubt, over in the red corner there was a pretty brilliant fight going on for most of 2015.
The winner of this fight was Sadiq Khan, who happens to come from a family of committed pugilists. In the wake of Corbyn’s win, Khan thrust his way past Blairite candidate and favourite, Tessa Jowell, to win the top spot and now has a strong chance of becoming the first Muslim mayor of London.
Andy Murray the tennis man has had a tidy 2015, winning four titles this year, at Munich, Madrid, Queen’s and Montreal, before going on to secure the Davis Cup for Britain for the first time in 79 years. He then turned his attention to the BBC’s (not) hotly contested Sports Personality of the Year competition. Murray’s personality was the best, and won the contest, beating Tyson Fury’s personality, which did not win.
Britain’s second ever astronaut to go into space, “Major” Tim Peake has shot to national stardom after blasting off for a ride in the international space station.
Cycling in London
No-one really knows what to do about cycling in London. Few politicians or businesses champion it as the fast clean transport London needs. But despite this, more and more cyclists are taking to the roads, and on the whole, things are getting safer for them.
This is due in part to a programme of cycle infrastructure building under London Mayor Boris Johnson and cycling tsar Andrew Gilligan, that has improved (or is in the process of improving) major routes across London.
AND here are THE LOSERS:
The Lib Dems
VW had a shocker of a year, and it was all their own fault. After spending years cheating at emissions tests with specially installed “defeat” software, they got found out. Oops. Turns out their cars are spewing even more filth out into the world than they were comfortable admitting.
The scandal engulfed European car makers, and shone a spotlight on the staggering ineptitude of Germany and Britain’s governments to deal with the problem, which they had already been told about.
What is Germany now? Without Volkswagen as a leading light, will the country crumble and descend into meaninglessness?
2015 may well go down in the annals of history as the year the Prime Minister of Great Britain did not deny having once “put a private part” in a pig’s head.
Read: Has Cameron actually denied Pig Gate? Spoiler alert: No.
The polls in 2015 were useless. These guys got everything that mattered so completely and utterly wrong, that the million
s of pounds they spent, and millions of column inches devoted to their findings were wholly pointless. Any trust people had in them will be very tough to win back.
Sepp really Blattered himself properly over 2015, and it was disgusting.
The Conservative government is keen on fossil fuels, not green energy. It’s been a bad year for renewables. Oh look, it’s the warmest Christmas on record, and the warmest entire year on record ever, for a third time, IN A ROW!