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Here are the best jokes from Nicola Sturgeon’s appearance on The Daily Show

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The SNP leader went down pretty well on the US TV show

SNP leader Nicola Sturgeon was interviewed on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart last night and raised a few laughs, after being accidentally billed as a comedian on the programme’s website.

Here’s a selection of some of the best jokes:

On comedy

Sturgeon: “You billed me on your website as a comedian – so you’ve raised all these expectations that I’m going to be funny.

“And I’m a politician, and as you know, politicians are rarely very funny.”

Stewart: “You need not worry. They thought I was going to be funny for 17 years.”

On oil stocks

Stewart: “How much are we talking about here? May we invade you?”

Sturgeon: “I think this is progress because you just heard Jon, presumably on behalf of the United States, ask permission to invade an oil-producing country. It doesn’t usually work that way.”

Stewart: “See that, you are a comedian.”

On SNP winning 56 out of 59 Scottish seats

Sturgeon: “I’ve ordered an inquiry into how we didn’t win the other three.”

Stewart: “What, do you think you’re Saddam Hussein, you get 99 per cent? 56 out of 59 is pretty good.”

On… well you’ll see

Stewart: “You have pledged for Scotland greater self determination, more financial independence.

“But now after the election that has crashed head-on with the reality that Westminster controls the purse strings, still believes in austerity, and receipts can dwindle for the GDP of Scotland, my question to you is, First Minister – what is haggis? What is that? Why would anyone?”

On the Scottish referendum

Stewart: “You have a bit of a Jones for getting out of the United Kingdom – we went through a very similar process.”

Sturgeon: “You were a bit more successful – though I don’t think we’ll try to do it your way.”

And…

Stewart: “Let me tell you what they hate. They hate it when you throw their stuff in the water.”

Sturgeon: “That’s where we went wrong!”

 

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