Are these the best Christmas cracker jokes for this year? Well, we’re laughing


Ed Miliband joke makes the top spot

Who hides in the bakery at Christmas?

A mince spy.

That’s our favourite Christmas cracker joke at London Loves Business but it seems this year’s favourite joke has a more contemporary feel.

In a competition by UKTV Gold, the winning gag was a joke at poor Ed Miliband’s expense, written by David Lawrence, from London.

Here’s the list of favourites:

1. Why does Ed Miliband like advent calendars? He gets to open the door to number 10

2. I told my Granddad to go to Amazon for his Christmas shopping. He phoned me two days later from Brazil

3. Why were Jeremy Clarkson’s colleagues excited to try his mulled wine? Because they’d been floored by his punch

4. How does Darth Vader like his Christmas turkey? On the dark side

5. Why did Santa pour Lemsip into the chimney? He was coming down with the flue

6. Why don’t Volkswagen hold Christmas Services? They get the readings wrong

7. Why is there no Champagne at the Chelsea Christmas party? Because Mourinho got rid of the Fizzy-o

8. Why was the turkey at the TalkTalk Christmas party such a mess? It was hacked

9. Who’s Rudolph’s favourite pop star? Beyon-sleigh

10. What do Wikileaks staff have with their Christmas turkey? An anonymous sauce



Chan Lai-wa

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